Seeing as I can’t fight this unexpected metamorphosis I’ve decided to embrace it wholeheartedly, and nothing says “insufferable morning person” like becoming a farmers market aficionado. Having recently dipped my toe into this pool of weekend morning activity with visits to the Subiaco (which I wrote about earlier) and Mt Claremont farmers markets and found that I very much liked the waters I was excited to learn that a brand new one was opening just down the road from my place at Kyilla Primary School in North Perth. Rounding up a few other morning folk we headed down a couple of Saturdays to check out its opening day and found it to be another glorious bonanza of delicious food, good vibes and wonderful produce.

Now just because I’ve embraced the early rising lifestyle doesn’t mean I don’t need a bit of assistance in kick-starting the day with a bit of caffeine. Luckily for me The Barista Bureau was on hand to supply me with a delicious brew. Having only recently set up shop (a couple of weeks ago I think) they seem to have hit the ground running and I can honestly say that it was one of the nicest coffees I’ve had in recent times. They’re also a lovely bunch too and I had a bit of a chat with them and have made tentative plans to meet up and get to know them and what they’re all about a bit better some time very soon, so watch this space all you coffee nerds and caffeine addicts out there. Oh, if you bring your own mug down they’ll give you 50c off your coffee too, so it’s a plus for both Mother Nature and your hip pocket.

Wake Up And Smell The Coffee: The Folks From Barista Bureau Doin’ Their Thang

My Luverly Cuppa. Guess Who Saved Himself 50c? (It Was Meeeeee!)

Suitably woken up we then made a bee-line for the row of heavenly-smelling food stalls. I opted for the Spanish eggs from KQ Spanish Food; a delicious blend of garlicky, oniony tomatoes with chick peas, and mushrooms that have eggs poached into them. Similar to the Moroccan breakky available at Subi and Mt Claremont, it was delicious, filling and quite healthy too, so a winner all round really. Others in our group went of the paella (also from KQ Spanish Food) and the funnel cake from the Ragin’ Cajun stand. The paella, while tasty, was nothing to write home about, but the funnel cake is another story. For those of you out there that are unaware of what this sinfully brilliant American breakfast/dessert food is all about let me give you a brief rundown. Pancake batter is poured into the funnel type instrument that gives the dish its name and then piped directly into a metal ring in a deep fryer. The result is a circular, squiggly, deep-fried pancake type creation that is then served topped with anything from chocolate sauce to bacon and maple syrup. Definitely not for those looking to watch their waistline, but even if you are on a diet I highly recommend that you take a morning off and get involved in one sometime soon, they’re that bloody good.

KQ Spanish Food: Senors Servin’ Up The Good Stuff

Spanish Breakfast: Scrumptious Iberian Eggs To Fill The Stomach And Satisfy The Soul

The Paella: Good But Not Necessarily Worthy Of A Letter Home To Barcelona

Funnel Cake Under Construction…

….And Here’s The Finished Article Topped With Cookies and Cream With Berries

Food scoffed we then spent a while wandering about the place, checking out the produce on offer and buying bits and pieces. While Kyilla might not have the largest range of any market you’ll go to it’s big enough to fulfil most of your needs with some interesting extras thrown in. I got myself some awesome yoghurt, some lovely strawberries, passion fruit and brilliant multi-coloured beans along with a dozen eggs and a loaf of French style rye sourdough from the organic bakery. Now I have to say that most stuff isn’t particularly cheap when compared to other places, but this doesn’t bother me for a number of reasons: a) you get access to fantastic, boutique products that isn’t available in most shops and b) you know that your money is going directly to the people that made/grew what your buying, often with the same hands that they’re selling it to you with. Those of you who have read a certain former post of mine know what I think of the big supermarket chains, so I’d much rather pay extra and have it go directly to nice people than shell out my hard earned to support Coles’ and Woolworths’ corporate bumming of the nation. But anyhow, I’ll get down from my soapbox now. I also got myself a Kyilla Community Markets hessian carrier bag that has the dual purpose of carrying one’s purchases around the market and, when I take it in to one of the big supermarkets on one of my rare visits, letting everyone around me know that I’m a much better person than they are.

My Hessian Carrier Bag: Useful For Carrying Things And Advertising My Social Superiority

This Stuff Definitely Ain’t Made In Ireland. That’s Right Coles and Woolworths, I’m Having A Dig At You!

I Never Knew Beans Came In Such Psychedelic Colours. Brilliant!

More Lovely Fruit N Veg, And Not A Drop Of Nasty Chemicals In Sight.

Oils Aint Oils At Guinea Grove Farm

So if you’re an insufferable early riser like me and are looking for something to do on a Saturday morning in North Perth then for heaven’s sake get yourself down to Kyilla Community Farmers Market. It’s only been going for a couple of weeks so I’m sure they’d appreciate the support and, in addition to being brilliant, some of the profits generated go to the P&C, so not only can you score some great food and fantastic goodies, you’ll also be scoring some fantastic karma too.

I have to say that I was pretty excited about getting an email out of the blue inviting me to dine at Fuku in Mosman Park. Not only was it a chance to check out a new place (and score some gratis nosh along the way), but it was a brilliant opportunity to experience something that my normal spending habits would not allow. I don’t know if you realise this, but baristas don’t actually make that much money in the grand scheme of things, which is a grave injustice as far as I’m concerned. If we all went on strike and you lot had to start every morning with a shitty coffee or, heaven forbid, learn how to make your own I’d give it two weeks tops before you were all  a gibbering mess weeping like new-borns, begging us to please come back to work and willing to pay us whatever we want. However, until that glorious day when my coffee slinging brothers and sisters in arms rise up and take what is rightfully ours I’ll have to be content with choosing more cost effective dining options (hence my focus on the cheap and cheerful of late) or, as it turns out, waiting about to be invited for free stuff at fancier venues. Seeing as I was allowed to bring a plus one I took my friend Joel who lived in Japan for a year teaching English and thus was a useful sidekick for such a dining experience.

Doing a bit of research online beforehand I found out that they are “a small 16 seat restaurant specialising in ‘omakase’ (small plates chosen by the chef for you) made right in front of you”. Again, this only served to increase anticipation levels on my part as I’d seen teppanyaki chefs doing their thing on telly before but never experienced it in the flesh. Upon arriving, Joel-san and I discovered that Fuku was indeed an intimate little place consisting of little more than a wall of backlit sake bottles and bench type seating facing right on to the cooking area. As is the case with the cuisine, the décor has a traditional Japanese theme with a crisp, modern feel. The sense of refined oriental elegance was also accentuated by a backdrop of tranquil Japanese instrumental music.

Fuku: Intimate, Classy And Uniquely Japanese

For Christ’s Sake, That’s A Whole Lot Of Rice Wine!

Soaking it all up we sat down and were given a run down as to how the evening was to proceed. Basically Fuku does 3 set taster menus; Good ($100 per head for 4 courses), Better ($135 f or 8 courses) and Best ($220 for 10 exceedingly opulent courses). We were to have the ‘Better’ along with a selection of different sakes off their impressive list (they have the biggest collection in WA). In case you’re wondering they do have a beverage list with wine and beer too, but if you’re going to do it properly it’s all about the sake. Thoroughly chuffed with how things had shaped up so far we were given a sake to wet the whistle, strapped ourselves in and waited for the feast to begin.

The First Of Many Delicious Sakes

First up was Kawa Ebi (river prawns) and crispy nori sheet. Deep fried to crunchy perfection yet no at all oily, the small shrimp are meant to be eaten in one go; heads, tails, the lot. Overcoming my initial distaste at the thought (primarily out of a fear of being judged an uncultured swine) I popped one in my gob and was pleasantly surprised to taste nothing but crisp, prawny goodness. The shells and head only added to the crunchy texture and weren’t overly fishy at all like I was expecting. The fried crispy nori was a salty delight too. My mind had already been slightly blown and my horizons expanded, and it was only the first course!

The Kawai Ebi: All The Deliciousness Of Prawns Eaten With The Convenience Of Popcorn

Round two was the small morsels (otsumami) which consisted of a tempura oyster with ginger paste, a fried soba noodle tree, some snapper and some smoked wagyu. The oyster was amazing! Crisp on the outside and creamy in the middle with a ginger kick, it was definitely my favourite of the morsels. That being said, the others were great too. The fish had an interesting sweet and sour thing going on and the wagyu beef had a smoky kick that matched up perfectly with a sweet teriyaki sauce. More decorative than anything else, the deep fried soba noodle tree was nevertheless fun to gnaw on.

The Morsels Under Construction

Beef Under The Blowtorch

Lined Up And Ready To Go

The Finished Article

The third course of sashimi took me back to familiar ground as I adore the stuff and eat it on a fairly regular basis. Consisting of Tasmanian salmon, Fremantle Tuna and an Exmouth Prawn, Fuku’s WA supplied take on it was very good indeed (the salmon simply melted away in your mouth), though perhaps not the best I’ve ever had. The sashimi prawn was a new experience for me though (insert your own joke about coming the raw prawn here), and we were told to eat the pickled ginger before having the fish so as to cleanse our palates from the last course and properly taste the delicate flavours, so at least I was still learning new things.

The Sashimi: From WA Waters To Your Plate Via A Skilled Man With A Very Sharp Knife

Next cab off the rank was Quail grilled on the hotplate and served up in a Peking style pancake with mushroom sauce.  Apparently the Quail they use is both free range, organic and the largest in the world, which still isn’t very big in the grand scheme of things. It is, however, very tasty and the use of the pancake was a fun way of presenting the bird.

Quail Pancakes In Preparation

Small Birds, Big Flavour

Course 5 switched back to seafood again with the scallop, prawn and crispy prawn head. A seared scallop was served alongside a much larger cousin of the Kawa Ebi we’d scoffed in the first course, and this one had his head dissected and fried to crispiness too the poor blighter. Having overcome my fear of prawn heads earlier on I was only too happy to tuck in to it this time around. The crispy prawn head, beautiful firm prawn flesh and silky soft scallop all offered lovely contrasting textures which were tied together by the Uni (sea urchin) butter that they were grilled in. Truly wonderful stuff.

Chucking A Few Prawns On The Barbie, Japanese Style

This Time Round I Chowed Down On That Juicy Prawn Head Like It Was Going Out Of Fashion!

The penultimate savoury dish was the fish of the day, which for us was swordfish served with eggplant, marinated lotus root and miso dressing. Firm and steak-like as good swordfish should be it worked really well with the salty miso dressing. The sukiyaki marinated lotus root was both a new thing for me and a highlight of the dish. I just loved the flavour and unique, slightly crunchy texture. I’m also a huge fan of eggplant on pretty much anything, and the miniature one they dished up to us is certainly the cutest one I’ve ever eaten.

Swordfish, Eggplant and Lotus Root: A Match Made In Japanese Heaven

Last in the seemingly endless line of savoury dishes was the much anticipated Wagyu beef. Given that the name has garnered such a reputation I was keen try the genuine article and see what all the fuss is about. After some spectacular “volcano work” done with the clever use of an onion and some hot oil we were served up cubes of the vaunted steak topped with garlic flakes and served with spicy miso sauce, grilled onion and some fried rice with Wagyu flavour. Now while there was no doubting that it was exceptionally nice it wasn’t by any means the best beef I’ve ever had and I probably wouldn’t go out of my way or pay a lot of money to have it again. As a dish, however, it was the perfect culmination of the savoury courses as the spicy miso, garlic and onion all worked fantastically with the robust beef and the fried rice filled one up to the perfect point of elegant sufficiency, that is, perfectly satisfied but looking forward to dessert.

Vesuvius Re-imagined In Onion Form For Your Viewing Pleasure

The Wagyu: Might Not Have Lived Up To All The Hype But Was Fantastic All The Same

Desert was Yuzu (a Japanese citrus fruit) cheesecake and wasabi cream, chocolate drink and Mountain Peach. A relatively light and simple affair by the standards of the rest of the meal, it was perfect as it would have somewhat ruined the evening if we’d forced down a huge, rich dessert that tipped us over the edge into queasy territory (and we’ve all done that from time to time, right folks?). The small cup of velvety hot chocolate and the cherry-like mountain peach were great, but the combination of the lightly tangy citrus cheesecake and wasabi laced whipped cream was mind-bendingly great. I’d never in a million years have picked those flavours to work together and it definitely added an incredulous edge to the already considerable food lesson I’d been given that evening.

Now I’ve said an awful lot about the food up to this point, but some of you may have noticed a distinct absence of information on the sake. This, I have to admit, is because I am complete novice when it comes to the stuff and wouldn’t begin to insult you by banging on about it like I was a seasoned connoisseur. I did try and pick out the flavours of the first three or so we tried and keep a track of what I like the best, but after that it all became a blur of delicious rice wine that magically kept appearing in my glass. What I will say though is that if you’ve not tried it before then don’t be afraid. It’s not too dissimilar to grape-produced wine and it definitely grows on you after a while. Fuku also has the largest range of Japanese single malt whiskey in WA, a fact that also excited me quite a bit, but we weren’t offered any and it did seem rather cheeky to be asking considering everything else we were getting for nothing, so I can’t report on that front either.

In addition to the fantastic food and the lovely sake, I have to say that I really loved experiencing a new style of eating. Being sat at the bench table and watching all of your food being prepared in front of you lends a wonderful sense of theatre and anticipation to everything. You can speculate about exactly what is going on and begin to imagine what it will taste like. Unlike a normal restaurant setup you can also talk directly to the chef, ask questions and just generally feel more involved in the whole process. The net effect of all this is that you seem to better appreciate the intricate nature of the food they’ve made for you and have a greater understanding of the skill that it takes to put it all together. They also throw in some showy tricks along the way but manage not to go over the top with it, thus leaving the food to remain on centre stage where it rightfully should be.

Overall my unexpected journey to Fuku turned out to be a very educational and exceptionally enjoyable new dining experience. Now while the considerable cost prohibits me for contemplating a return any time soon, those of you out there with greater financial means should definitely consider paying them a visit. If they match the meal that they gave us (and my gut feeling tells me that they will) then I’m sure you won’t be disappointed.

Asian food. Sunsets. Long summer days at the beach. These are things that Perth does very well. However, when it comes to things like merging in heavy traffic or providing effective public transport, our little corner of the world leaves rather a lot to be desired. The same thing is true when it comes to bagels. Now I’m sure many of you born-and-bread sandgropers out there are thinking that you’ve had the odd bagel about the place from time to time and it was perfectly nice. Now whilst I don’t doubt the fact that you enjoyed your bready snack very much, I’m sorry to have to tell you that you’ve been living a lie. Ask any one of North American abstraction (and I’m including you Canadians in that category) and they’ll tell you that the round, holey baked goods that bakeries sell over here are many things, but they are not real bagels. If you happen to know a New Yorker then just mention it in passing and they’ll no doubt bang on about it for hours, so be warned.

The key to making them properly is boiling the dough before it’s baked. It gives them that awesome, chewy surface. Also, they’re denser and have a different feel to normal bread. Taking a bog-standard roll and punching a hole in it does not magically transform it in to a bagel. However, it’s not all doom and gloom on the Perth bagel front as our local Jewish population has come to the rescue. Tucked away out the back of Menorah, The Kosher Providore is a bakery and supermarket specialising in, you guessed it, kosher goods and produce. They also happen to make the best damned bagels this side of the Empire State building. Available in a range of flavours and types, they’re perfect for expats looking to satisfy their bagel-lust or locals wanting to try the real deal. Special mention must be made of the onion bagels, which are so good that the very mention of them nearly sends a very heavily pregnant Canadian friend of mine in to fits of bagel-induced frenzy. Just try one lightly toasted with some cream cheese slathered on top and then you’ll know what she’s on about. Oh, they also happen to be egg and dairy free, so even you stuffy vegans can get with the bagel-lovin’ program!

The Bagels In All Their Bready Glory

My Purchases: (From Left To Right) Plain, Healthy Whole Grain, Poppy Seed And Onion

The Onion Bagel Toasted And Smothered In Cream Cheese: I Swear To God It’s Like Catnip For Pregnant Canadians

In addition to their epic bagels, they also do a range of other tasty looking baked goods and have a butcher as well as a grocery and frozen food section. It’s essentially a one stop shop for all your Hebrew-friendly food requirements. So whether you’re one of the chosen people looking to do the weekly shop or simply a gentile looking to get your hands on something truly magnificent to pop in the toaster for breakky then The Kosher Providore has you covered. Here’s a link to their website if you want to find out more.

The Kosher Providore: The Best Thing Since Unsliced Bread

Sweet Treats To Satisfy Your Sweet Tooth

The humble pizza. The second half of the 20^th century saw this unassuming Italian street food spread like wildfire around the globe and it has now reached a state of near ubiquity. Small wonder too as it has a bready base, tasty toppings and you can eat it with your hands. What’s not to love, right? Along the way it’s seen more than a few reinventions; from greasy fast food fodder to fusion inspired gourmet delight and pretty much everything in between. Given this, when I heard that the folks behind Cantina 663 and El Publico were opening in a new, trendy pizza joint in Mt Lawley I was a little curious as to what they were going to bring to the already crowded table.

Apparently Lou Reed Is Moonlighting As An Interior Designer These Days

Situated on Beaufort St in what was formerly Barolo, Ace Pizza has gone for a funky, urban take on Italian cuisine. The entrance is to the side (front door entrances are so last decade), the staff all wear t-shirts emblazoned with a capital A, C or E and the layout is all plush booths with a dimly lit green and black motif. In that regard at least they have managed to come up with something pretty unique. Even though I couldn’t quite put my finger on exactly what they were going for décor wise, it was nevertheless an interesting space that will no doubt appeal to the super-cool urban diners that are Ace’s target market.

Perusing the menu it was a case of Italian food re-imagined by the Gen Y set. Traditional items like salami, mortadella and pizza are sat alongside more adventurous fare such as ‘fried mac n cheese’, ‘beets n salted ricotta’ and ‘swordfish, charred cauliflower n pine nut’. Similarly, the drinks and cocktail list was littered with Italian staples given a modern twist. Special mention must also be given to the wine list as the folks at Ace Pizza have taken the time to craft an interesting selection of imported Italian stuff and locally produced Italian varietals. This means you’re able to find a Fiano from Margaret River and an Arneis from the Adelaide hills alongside your Chianti, Soave and Vermentino shipped in from the mother country. Very nice work indeed. While we decided on food a couple of us were intrigued by the Americano cocktail on tap (capari, rosso, vermouth and soda, $9) and so started with that. Fizzy and bitter as one would expect, it was an interesting, refreshing way to start the meal but I don’t think I’ll be rushing back for one any time soon.

The Americano: A Bitter Sweet Symphony In A Glass

For starters my partners in crime and I were unable to avoid the decadent allure of the ‘fried mac n cheese’ ($7) and so also ordered the much healthier ‘chop chop beef’ ($14) too. Upon questioning our waitress as to exactly how one would go about frying macaroni cheese, she described how they cook and then chill the aforementioned cheesy pasta dish, cut it in to squares and then crumb and deep fryt. This pretty much describes it perfectly, and can I just say; OH…MY…GAWD! The crunchy, crumbed outside contrasted delightfully with the oozy béchamel laden macaroni underneath. Thank heavens there was only enough for half a cube’s worth each as we all agreed we could have quite happily polished the lot off on our own (and lived to regret it afterwards). The beef was finely chopped skirt steak served raw with an olive oil, rosemary and lemon dressing and some crisp bread. While it was nice and definitely made for a good contrast to the fried sinfulness for the mac n cheese, I felt it could have done with a little more lemon juice in the dressing to give it a lift. That being said, I applaud them for having the courage to put it on the menu and it’s great to see new places being adventurous and taking some risks.

Macaroni x Macaroni x Macaroni (See What I Did There?)

Pac Man’s Autopsy Was A Grizzly Sight. Cause Of Death: Mac N Cheese

The Chop Chop Beef: Raw Beef That Doesn’t Mince About

For mains we went for two pizzas, the Lincoln Lady with san marzano tomato, mozzarella, black olive, anchovy n very hot salami ($20), the Amalfi with prawn, lemon, garlic, capers and basil ($22) along with the ‘mushies and polenta’ ($15) from the wood grilled section and the fat pasta, rabbit and porcini ($21). Now I have good and bad news to deliver, so I’ll start with the positive and move on to the negative. The good news is that the mushies n polenta and rabbit pasta were amazing. Served on a bed of soft, creamy polenta (not that horrible instant bright yellow stuff that you may have been assaulted with before), a variety of mushrooms were grilled to perfection and served topped with some herbs and a generous lashing of grated parmesan cheese. Adopting the current trend of cutting up fresh lasagne sheets to make chunky ribbons of pasta they topped it off with succulent braised rabbit and sautéed porcini mushrooms in a light creamy sauce. I’m a sucker for rabbit and don’t see it on menus anywhere near enough for my liking, and this was one of the nicest examples of it I’ve ever tasted.

The Fat Pasta: Bugs Bunny Never Tasted So Good

Mushies N Polenta: A Match Made In Heaven (If Heaven Were Wood Fired)

Now on to the bad news: the pizza. To put it simply, it was rubbish. I know a few of you out there are thinking “how can you stuff up pizza?”, but believe me, it’s harder than it looks. As with all good Italian food it’s in the details; the right recipe for crispy dough, a good tomato base and the right blend of ingredients on top. Sadly, Ace Pizza managed none of this. The base was doughy, seemed a little undercooked and was a bit sloppy. While I’m not exactly sure what they put in to their tomato base, it had that Dolmioesque preservative taste. Finally, the toppings weren’t much chop either. We’ve since figured that they gave us a Ms Loren (spicy sausage, ricotta and lemon) instead of our desired Lincoln Lady, but even letting that slip the sausage was lacking in oomph and everything else was pretty bland too. The Amalfi was a bit better but way too salty and I’m sorry, but if I’m paying $22 for a seafood pizza I expect real prawns and not those tiny shrimp you get out of a tin. Very poor form indeed. They could definitely learn a thing or two from Neighbourhood Pizza down the road in Mt Hawthorn.

Ms Loren: Turned Up Uninvited But Unfortunately Couldn’t Liven Up The Party

The Amalfi: See If You Can Spot A Prawn?

Thankfully, things picked up again when we got out tiramisu donut and ace soft serve for dessert. If I thought that the fired mac n cheese was heart-attack inducing enough, then the donut took things to a whole other level. Fried, coated in sugar and filled with an amazing coffee liqueur custard, our only saving grace once again was that we only had a quarter of one each. Now perhaps it’s just me, but this new craze for home-made soft serve is a little baffling as I really can’t taste the difference between it and the stuff you get from a Mr Whippy Van (and they have flakes and will dip it in chocolate for you). That being said, Ace Pizza manages to make it fun by giving you a bottle of salted caramel sauce, a bottle of ‘ace’ magic (get it?) and a small tub of honeycomb and one of biscuit crumble, thus allowing you to essentially make your own sundae. Sweet, tasty and interactive, it was a good way to round off the meal.

Taste Like A Tiramisu, Donut?

A Fun Dessert, But I’ll Take A Choc Dipped Double Flake Over It Any Day Of The Week

In summing it up, I’d have to say that ironically enough the only thing that wasn’t ace was the pizza. It’s funky, it’s got a good feel, the service was decent and most of the food was fantastic. That being said, maybe I’m just missing the point here. No one uses the term ‘ace’ seriously anymore, so perhaps it was intended with irony and is all some kind of uber-hip situationalist joke that I didn’t pick up on. I hope so, because given how right they got everything else it would explain why the pizza was so woeful; it was meant to be.

A very strange thing has been happening to me lately. I think I might be growing up. Until recently Saturday mornings were reserved exclusively for lying on the couch watching crap telly, feeling awful and trying to reconstruct the events of the night before from whatever hazy memories I had managed to retain. Yet for some unfathomable reason this no longer seems appealing to me and I’ve been exercising some foreign concepts like “restrain” and “moderation” when partaking of a few end-of-the-week beverages. Consequently I’ve had a whole new world of possibilities opened up to me when Saturday rolls around. Free from the curse of a stomach that feels like I’ve swallowed a blender and a mouth that tastes like I’ve been licking asphalt for hours I’ve been able to leave the house and function like a normal human being. Last Saturday I took full advantage of this fact and accepted an invitation to join some friends on a trip to the Subiaco Farmer’s Markets, and I have to say it’s one of the best decisions I’ve made in a while.

From the moment you arrive you’re surrounded by a world of interesting sights, colours and smells. There are stands selling produce, foodstuffs and goods of many wonderful and varied types and, most importantly in my book, some amazing food. Being quite hungry and confronted with a plethora of appealing eating options I did have a little trouble making up my mind as to what I wanted, but as soon as I laid eyes upon it I was lead into temptation by Diablo’s Oven; a stall offering three different types of breakfast calzone. That’s right folks, I’ll say it again, breakfast calzone. This ingenious blend of Italian cooking and Anglo-style breakfast food sounded too good to resist and before I knew it I was at the front of the queue and pleading for a Benediction (free range smoked ham & eggs with market fresh spinach and truffle hollandaise sauce, $12). However, I was obviously not the only one that liked the sound of it and their poor little wood fired oven was working at capacity and had a 20 minute wait for food. This, however, was no problem at all as I was able to simply pop next door for some Greek Delights From Tom the Greek (that’s literally the name of the stall) to tide me over till it arrived. Rocking an impressive moustache and thick accent, Tom provided me with some delicious spanakopita ($6) from his selection of home baked Hellenic treats and it was exactly what the doctor ordered. Grabbing a delicious coffee (made with Pound Coffee beans) we found a seat beneath a shady tree and commenced eating.

Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here: Diablo’s Oven Baking Some Devilishly Delicious Calzones

Tom’s Selection of Greek Delights

Crispy Pastry? Check. Great Spinach Filling? Check; Spanakopita That Really Hits The Spot

When it finally arrived my Eggs Benedict calzone was everything I’d hoped for and more. The salty ham and runny egg yolks combined perfectly in the crusty pastry case with the wilted spinach and decadent-but-not-too-rich hollandaise. Total finger lickin’ breakfast fusion genius. The beauty of eating at this kind of market is that everyone is free to have whatever they want, so others in our gang went for the Moroccan breakfast (which I have to say did look damn fine and I was close to getting) while a couple of the girls listened to their sweet tooth and had a crepe. Now while I didn’t get to taste everything myself, I was assured that it was all top notch, and judging by the way that everyone hoed in to their chosen breakfast fare I have absolutely no trouble believing them.

My Benediction: Some Truly Divine Intervention Into My Saturday Morning

Morrockin’ Roll: Eggs Poaching In A Spicy Tomato Sauce

The Finished Article All Served Up. Those North Africans Sure Know How To Start The Day!

Holy Crepe!: One Of The Gang Tucks In To Some Sweet French Awesomeness

Feeling in the mood to properly pig out, I got another coffee and accompanied it with some macarons from the Maison Saint-Honore stall (6 assorted flavours for $10) and some kolokithopita (a sticky, sweet pumpkin and pastry dessert, $5) from Tom and his marvellous Greek moustache. I did share these sweet treats with the whole class by the way, so you can all stop judging me now thanks very much!

Macarons: A Little Passe These Days I Know But Still Damned Tasty

Kolokithopita: Hard To Pronounce, Very Easy To Eat

Mammoth eating session over, I thought I better take advantage of the excellent produce and other foodstuffs on offer (seeing as it was a market after all) and got some great Swiss brown mushrooms ($6 a bag) and a couple of loaves of bread (a light rye with pumpkin seeds on the outside and an awesomely dense fruit loaf). Seeing as I’d waited till just before the end of the morning the bakery was doing a two-for-one deal and I got both loaves for $7.50. Score!

Quit Loafin’ About And Buy Some Bread Already!

Beyond the fantastic food and great produce for relatively low prices, farmer’s markets like this are just a really nice place to be in general. It has live music, is held in the shady grounds of a primary school, there’s a great buzz as people and families stroll about and this particular one even has an open Ukulele jam session where anyone can bring their uke and join in the fun. Now maybe it’s because I’m getting on a bit, but I definitely found it to be far more enjoyable than lying in a dark room smelling like a brewery and wondering why reality hurts so much. If I’m not careful I’ll turn in to a morning person. Yuk!

The Mighty Uke: The People’s Guitar

“Hello Subiaco Farmer’s Markets!”

Chillies. What can I say; I love ‘em. Not only do they taste amazing, but it turns out they’re incredibly good for you too. Chock full of minerals and vitamins A, B, C and E, they boost your metabolism, lower blood sugar levels and have strong antiviral and antibacterial properties (as well as doing a lot of other stuff too, click here and here to find out more). All of this is particularly good news as the folks at the Shanghai Tea Garden certainly aren’t afraid of throwing the stuff about with gay abandon. Hearing good things about the place from several different sources, myself and some friends went there for dinner last Friday night, and if we hadn’t had our weekly recommended dose of chilli beforehand, we certainly had by the time we left.

A Little Slice of 19th Century Shanghai Here In Perth

A modest little place styled after a 19^th century Shanghai tea garden and tucked away towards the northern end of William St in Northbridge, its small size and pleasant-yet-unassuming Chinese décor belie a hidden gem in Perth’s Asian dining scene. As is the case with a lot of Anglicised cuisine, I often find that most Chinese restaurants are pretty much the same. You know the deal, Chow Mein, sweet and sour pork etc… However, the Shanghai Tea Garden stays true to its name and offers up some amazing dishes specific to western China that are a world away from your average suburban “Jade Palace” and its oily fried rice and lackluster kung po chicken.

Nothing FIshy Here, Just Some Of The Best Chinese Food In Town

While a few of the lads made a swift trip around the corner to the bottle shop, we tided ourselves over with a few serves of Shanghai dumplings. Now while they were good and had the right smooth, elastic feel and soupy filling, I have to say that they didn’t quite measure up to the ones at Northbridge Chinese Restaurant. But seeing as that Northbridge Chinese is pretty much the best in town when it comes to the dumpling game I didn’t hold it against them too much.

The Shanghai Dumplings: Very Good But You Can Find Better

Taking the lead and ordering for the whole table (with the help of a couple of helpful recommendations from our waitress), for mains we had the Xian Jing Spicy Chicken with Potato & Handmade Noodles, Double Cooked Sliced Pork with Szechuan Chilli, Spicy Szechuan Fish, Ba Boa Tofu Claypot, Stir Fried Shanghai Bok Choy with Mushroom and the Crispy Duck with a couple of large steamed rice for good measure. The claypot, Bok Choy and Crispy Duck were all very nice (especially the duck as it was decadent but not too greasy), whereas the rest of the food was, quite literally, mind blowing. The Double Cooked Pork took roasted pork belly, finely sliced it and then stir fried it with onions, capsicum and a whole lot of chilli. Amazing! Like being punched in the mouth by a delicious, fiery pig. Similarly, the Spicy Fish turned out to be a vast cauldron of fish soup absolutely brimming with blazing crimson seafood lava. However, the showpiece was definitely the chicken. Even though we ordered the smaller size it was still a vast platter of the in-house made fresh noodles topped with rustic chunks of chicken, potatoes and, you guessed it, lots and lots of chilli. I’ve honestly never had anything quite like it in a Chinese restaurant before and, even as I write this, I’m trying to figure out a date when I can get back and have some more. It was seriously that good.

The Xian Jiang Spicy Chicken: Rustic Szechuan Cooking Supersized

Double Cooked Sliced Pork: Some Fiery Swine That’s Twice As Nice

Spicy Szechuan Fish: Super Tasty But Not For The Faint Of Heart!

After an amazing, sweat inducing and mind-altering meal I was already a very happy camper. Even though we’d asked for things to be a medium level of spicy, they didn’t hold back on account of the fact that we were a bunch of honkies, and for that I accord them a lot of respect. Then we got the bill. All up it came to $20 a head, a total bargain for the brilliant feast we’d enjoyed, and seeing as it was BYO alcohol too there was no nasty drinks bill to ruin the party either. Although I hate to end a post on a downer I have to say that as amazing and chock full of healing powers as chilli may be, even the colossal amount I ate during dinner wasn’t enough to stave off the effects of the wine and cocktails that accompanied and followed it and thus I was spectacularly unwell come Saturday morning. So let that be a lesson to you all!

Japanese cuisine. Those that are unfamiliar with its nuances tend to think of it as just a bunch of rice, seaweed and raw fish when the fact of the matter is that nothing could be further from the truth. There’s Ramen, Yakitori, Soba, Izakaya, Tempura, Shabu-shabu and Okonomiyaki just to name a few styles of cooking, not to mention the sushi, sashimi and tepanyaki that we’re familiar with in the West. It’s an amazing kaleidoscope of different noodles, fried, raw and grilled dishes, soups, curries and sauces. Even within the category of sushi there’s your traditional, strictly Japanese style and a more modern, less serious fusion approach that takes influences from all over the world and combines them in sushi form. Mr Munchies in Mt Lawley falls somewhere in between the two, offering both traditional fare and crazy fusion creations that will bend your mind and have you questioning everything you thought you knew about sushi, if not reality itself.

Japanese Inspired, Fun And A Little Bit Quirky, The Decor Matches The Food

Rollin’ Deep: The Mr Munchies Crew Hard At Work

Tucked right down the end of an arcade off the Northern end of the main Beaufort St drag, it’s a chirpy little place full of bright colours and an entirely Japanese staff that, whilst they might not yet have that firm a grasp of the English language, nevertheless definitely know how to create interesting and mouth-watering sushi. Given that I was the only one in our group who’d been there before (and because I’m a pushy, opinionated food blogger) I was given the responsibility of ordering for the whole table. Taking this immense responsibility in my stride, I decided to start us off with their New Mix Style Sashimi, some Agadeshi Tofu and a Squid Salad (as they were heartbreakingly out of Seaweed Salad, which happens to be one of my favourite things in existence). At the risk of sounding a little full of myself, I’d have to say that it was a pretty damned good way to get the ball rolling. The tofu was crispy on the outside, soft and velvety on the inside and covered with yummy, salty sauce and the squid salad combined great soy and chilli flavours with chunks of chilled squid. I’m always a total sucker for sashimi too, and the horse mackerel and Hokkaido scallops were a particular highlight as I’d never tried either of them in their raw form before.

The Squid Salad: It’s No Seaweed Salad, But A Very Tasty Substitute Nevertheless

The Sashimi: Elegent, Simple Japanese Perfection On A Plate

For our first round of sushi I mixed it up with a blend of traditional and fusion creations that included the Crunchy Spider Roll (deep fried soft shell crab, iceberg lettuce and cucumber topped with white sesame sauce and shallots), the Spicy Tuna Roll (marinated fresh tuna and avocado topped with tobikko and chilli mayo), the Chicken Katsu Kilpatrick Roll (chicken katsu with bacon and cheese served with BBQ and mustard sauce) and the Aussie Outback Roll (boneless lamb shank , oyster mushroom, steamed asparagus, roasted capsicum and a honey black pepper sauce). The soft shell crab in the Crunchy spider was nice and, well, crunchy and the Spicy Tuna, while definitely very well made and tasty, didn’t really live up to its name in that there wasn’t anywhere near enough kick as far as this chilli fanatic was concerned. The Kilpatrick Roll sounded good on paper, but in reality turned out taste wise to fall somewhere in a strange no-man’s-land between sushi and a fast food chicken and bacon cheeseburger. The Aussie Outback, on the other hand, blended all of its elements together seamlessly and, once you got over the fact that that was indeed lamb inside your rice and nori, was a quirkily brilliant creation.

The Crunchy Spider Roll (Please Note No Spiders Were Harmed In The Making Of This Sushi)

The Spicy Tuna Roll: Heavy On Tuna But Sadly Lacking In Spice

The Katsu Chicken Kilpatrick: Stoner Food Dreams Turned In To Reality

The Aussie Outback Roll: So Crazy It Just Might Work

Deciding collectively that we had room for a little more, round two consisted of the Energy Roll (eel, chopped coriander and snow pea sprout with sweet teriyaki sauce), the Seafood Roll (fresh salmon sliced, steamed prawn and cucumber topped with fresh tuna chunks, chilli flakes and served with a sauce hit of wasabi aioli and chilli mayo) and the Surf & Turf Roll (grilled steak rolled with steamed prawn and snow pea sprout topped with garlic chips and chilli flakes with a sweet onion sauce). While the Seafood and Surf and Turf were both very good (with the tuna chunks on top being a nice touch), the standout was definitely the Energy roll. In case you’ve not tried it, eel has a bold-but-not-too-fishy flavour that matches up perfectly with sweet teriyaki and the coriander and snow peas, while a little left field, set the whole thing off and elevated it to another level.

Round 2: (From Left To Right) Energy, Seafood and Surf & Turf

Now while it’s true that not all of their out there creations might have hit the mark, speculating what they might taste like beforehand and being surprised, disappointed or bewildered by how it actually turned out is all part of the fun. Places that do good sushi really aren’t that hard to find these days, so to come across one that re-injects a sense of fun and excitement into a cuisine that can be a little predictable at times is nothing short of magic. Add to that the fact that you can make up your own as you go along (they have a special create-your-own section in the menu) and there really is no limits to the potential Japanese madness that you can get up to.

Beware Godzilla, Mural Of Doom!

Now you might well expect that you’d have to pay top dollar for all this delicious, slightly madcap dining brilliance, but that’s where the story gets even better. Both times I’ve been the bill has come to no more than $25 per head. Take that and add the cost effective benefits of BYO booze and you’ve got yourself a scrumptious, entertaining Japanese feast that won’t set you back too many Yen. Subarashii!

P.S: it really is a tiny little place so if you’re thinking of heading along then I’d definitely book ahead, even on a week night.

I’m a firm believer that a dining experience is about so much more that what’s served to you on your plate. It’s about the building, the ambiance, the other patrons and just the whole vibe in general. Tapas is best served in rowdy, smoke-filled Spanish bars, Bratwurst hotdogs are best eaten outdoors on a chilly December day in Germany and meat pies are best consumed at the footy between mouthfuls of abuse hurled at the umpire. The whole experience is more than the sum of its parts. Similarly, cheap, no-frills steaks should come in a similarly rough-and-ready environment, and that’s just what you’ll get at the Mighty Quinn on a Wednesday night.

You Ain’t Seen Nothing Like The Mighty Quinn. Well, Maybe You Have, But That Doesn’t Fit In With The Reference I’m Trying To Make Here. So Shut Up.

Having received a tipoff about it from a fellow food blogger, the promise of a low cost steak dinner out on the town was too much to resist and thus last week I rounded up a few friends and went down to check it out. Even though the Mighty Quinn is just around the corner from my house I’d never actually been in there, so was pleasantly surprised to find a huge, cavernous beer hall type place absolutely heaving with people. Splashed here and there with references to its Irish name, it has a warm, homely vibe despite its hefty interior. Whilst far from what you’d consider to be a traditional Irish pub, the hurling sticks and Guinness ads on the wall along with the fireplace and warm lighting nevertheless manage to lend a certain Gaelic charm to what would otherwise be a pretty bog standard blue collar drinking hole.

The Emerald Isle It Isn’t, But It Does Have A Certain Cosy Charm

Two Australian Irishmen Walk Into A Bar…

Although my informant told me that the steak special was $12.50, the fact that it turned out to be $13.90 was still totally acceptable. They were also perfectly happy to substitute my chips for mash potatoes at no extra cost, and this put me in such a good mood that I splashed out and paid and extra $2.75 to get veges instead of salad. Arriving at the table in a surprisingly short amount of time considering the masses of people they were serving, it was exactly what I was hoping for. Sat atop a large mound of mash and steamed veg, the generous slab of sirloin was smothered in a thick mushroom and seeded mustard gravy. I’d asked for medium rare, and despite the fact that it was a little rarer than it perhaps should have been, I wasn’t complaining as a) I tend to like my steak that way anyhow and b)I’d much rather it come underdone than overcooked.

Steak And Mash, Because I’m A Meat ‘n’ Taters Kinda Guy

And Again, This Time With A Chips And Salad Motif, Which Is Very “In” This Year

Now, getting back to what I was saying about the food matching the setting, this meal was a perfect example. Had I been served the exact same thing in fancier establishment (with matching fancy price tag) then, chances are, that I would have been pretty pissed and felt ripped off. Similarly, if the chefs at the Mighty Quinn had tried to go all gourmet and served the steak with roast baby potatoes, a cranberry port just and dusted it with microherbs then it just wouldn’t have felt right, and they probably would have cocked it up anyway. As it was, the generous portions had just the right level of slap dashedness to match the t-shirt wearing staff serving them. Nothing in the slightest bit poncey there at all, just meat, sauce, potatoes and veg. I didn’t end up paying that much, it was tasty enough and I left full and satisfied. In short, it was everything a cheap steak meal in a pub should be. The drinks were also pretty well priced too, with pints of Erdinger only $8. The old Mighty Quinn does get fairly heaving with people clamouring for budget priced beef, so if you want to guarantee yourself a table I’d highly recommend booking ahead. Oh, they also do a quiz on a Wednesday night too, which is the icing on a prefect pub grub cake as far as I’m concerned. So, what’s everyone up to next Wednesday night then?

Curry In A Hurry, Buffet Style

There are so many reasons why I love this place. First and foremost, the food is great. Served in a help yourself buffet arrangement, it’s a haven of enchanting Indian vegetarian delights like pilau rice, several different curries, soup, chapatis, vegetables and dahl. Tasty, hearty and filling without being too spicy (for those of you who are a bit afraid of excessive heat), you can sit down and enjoy your sub continental feast safe in the knowledge that no beast or fowl was harmed in the making of it. There’s also water and orange juice on tap, tea and coffee and even something sweet to finish things off with. Although it varies depending on when you visit, dessert was the unexpected highlight of my last visit to Annalakshmi. Looking like nothing more than a small bowl of milk with noodles, it turned out to be a creamy-yet-not-too-rich delight loaded with amazing spices and a sweet, sugary hit. I don’t know what the Hindi or Urdu word for a-freaken-mazing is, but if I did then I’d totally use it right about now.

Veggo Indian Delights: Guilt Free And Delicious

Dessert: Deceptively Plain Looking But Choc Full Of Flavour

Now while I don’t think that I could ever fully convert to vegetarianism, I do think that the world would be a much better place if everyone drastically cut down the amount of meat they consumed. I don’t want to appear to be getting up on a soap box here, but it does make a lot of sense if you look at it in a certain way. For starters, it’s much better for you health wise, not to mention being a whole lot cheaper. Also, if everyone ate less then we could afford to spend more on the meat we do consume, and this in turn means that it could be produced in a more ethical, free range type manner rather than the horrible factory system that we have at the moment geared towards churning out massive volumes for minimal cost. We’d win.  The animals would win. I’m telling you, there’s no down side to this. Sure, you may have to go without the odd trip to KFC, but deep down in your heart you know that’s a good thing. Plus, with these guys making vegetarian (even vegan) dining so yummy, convenient and affordable, there’s no excuse to ditch the meat on even a semi-regular basis.

In addition to providing super tasty Indian food for whatever money you can spare, Annalakshmi also offers an exceedingly pleasant environment in which to consume it. Unlike several squalid Hare Krishna type places that I went to while backpacking around Europe, you’re not wedged in amongst loads of unwashed backpackers in a grimy urban setting. Nestled right on the banks of the Swan near the Barrack St jetty, the large dining room and balcony offer spectacular views over the river out to the Narrows Bridge. Gentle sitar music soothes you as you wind your way past the traditional Hindu decorations on your way up to the buffet. It’s just a really nice spot to be, a fact that I believe stems largely from the non-commercial nature of the place. There’s no urge to turn over tables, no intrusive wait staff trying to upsell you more drinks, none of the hustle and bustle of a normal commercial restaurant environment. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of hustle and bustle when it’s appropriate, but every now and again it’s nice to take a break from the fast lane and do things a little differently. As they themselves put it, they offer “food for the soul by providing a good meal to those who walk in”, and you can definitely taste some love mixed in with the vegetables and spices.

Annalakshmi, Hindu Goddess Of Plenty, Watches Over Proceedings

Finally, we come to the issue of payment. You literally pay whatever you feel the meal was worth as you leave the restaurant. There’s no “suggested” donation, no one staring you down and laying a guilt trip on you if they think you’ve stiffed them. As is the nature of karmic philosophy, it’s all on you and you’ll have to deal with the consequences one way or another. As such, I’m not going to say how much I pay or what I think a fair donation is, but if you screw them over and get reincarnated as a cockroach that lives in Tony Abbot’s wheelie bin you can’t say you weren’t warned.

“I’ll have one beer please. No, I’m not expecting any change.”

If The Kiwis Can Get Their Head’s Around It Then Why The Hell Can’t We.

As far as I see it there are two main ways of confronting the problem. You can a) give up caring about the fact that you have to take out a second mortgage to buy a round of drinks and just accept the fact that you’re going to have to fund your going out habits by giving up other non-essential items like food and paying the rent, or conversely you can b) become consumed by rage at the injustice of it all and sit at home in a darkened room sipping bitterly from a cask of Fuity Lexia and swearing never to leave the house ever again.

A Metaphorical Illustration Of Going Out In Perth

This Doesn’t Have To Be You. There Are Other Ways To Live!

If neither option seems appealing, then by all means relax folks as I’m here to tell you that there is another way. Believe it or not, with a little insider knowledge and planning it’s actually possible to have an active social life in Perth without giving your poor piggy bank too much of hammering. That’s right, you too can leave the house and eat, drink and be merry without having to don high-vis gear and ship yourself off to the FIFO gulag. That’s why this week I’ve decide to focus on doing a bunch of entrys that focus on the cheap and cheerful.  It’s not all Mi Goreng and Passion Pop either. Delicious Sushi, fab veggo curries and even fat, juicy steaks are all to feature prominently, so if you’re looking to enjoy yourself out and about while pinching a few pennies then by all means watch this space…

Follow My Advice And You’re Piggy Bank Will Be Lovin’ It

Listen To Me And Avoid This Stalinist Nightmare!