Ever heard the phrase “don’t piss on my leg and tell me it’s raining”? Well, if you ask me it’s something to bear in mind when considering the way that the bastardly duo of Coles and Woolworths are slowly taking over every facet of our lives, especially when it comes to the whole eating, drinking and entertainment side of things (which in case you haven’t noticed is kind of my thing). Don’t know what I’m talking about? Ok then, just try and leave the house and buy food, booze or a drink at a bar without shelling out some of your hard earned to either of the aforementioned companies. It is possible I know, but you often have to go out of your way to do so, and the worst thing is is that everyone seems to be fine with this. “That’s just the way it is” they say, “they’re both great companies that offer great products at competitive prices”. Bollocks! Everyone keeps telling me it’s raining, but I can’t help but notice the heavy stench of urine hanging in the air.
The Mark Of The Beast(s)
Looking at just the supermarkets themselves, I’d like you all to join me in a little compare and contrast exercise between our little Aussie duopoly and the system in the UK. Over there they have a hierarchy of shopping options that reflect one’s income and spending habits and allow one to exercise a relatively large amount of discretion when it comes time to do the weekly shop. Top of the chain is Marks and Spencer (aka Marks and Sparks) followed closely by Waitrose, both expensive options populated predominately by the upper middle classes and, in the case of old Marks and Sparks, those of a lower socioeconomic background looking to impress their friends at dinner parties by passing off the pre-made food you can buy there as their own. Next rung down is Sainsbury’s and a half step behind that is Tesco, both respectable middle class supermarkets for respectable middle class people. Even within this bracket there is some wiggle room, with customers having the option of choosing brand name products, store brand or the ever-so-slightly more posh Tesco’s or Sainsbury’s “finest” store brand. A bit further down the scale you find Morrison’s and “every little helps” Asda. You can generally tell when you’re in one of these two as there tends to be a much higher percentage of people wearing tracksuits and greater numbers of teenagers girls pushing prams down the aisles selling canned food and ready-meals. Probably the scummiest of the lot is Iceland, home of both the frozen prawn ring and the alcoholic single mother, which makes their choice of Kerry Katona as spokeswoman especially apt (that one was for my UK peeps and fellow former expats, sorry Aussie friends, you’ll just have to let that one fly right on over your sunburnt little noggins). Bringing up the rear are my two favourites, Aldi and Lidle, two non-brand name selling havens of teutonic efficiency and value for money, fantastic for both your standard grocery shop and the fabulous aisle of miscellaneous crap down the middle of the store (I once went in to my local Aldi to buy a can of chilli con carne and a loaf of bread and came out with outdoor pants and a winter jacket. Brilliant!).
You’ll Love Coles, Or Else!
Ok, now let’s compare that to the options I have when deciding upon a supermarket here. Ah, I can go to Coles, Woolworths or IGA and pay way too much for everything no matter which one I chose. Now do you see what I mean? There is no real choice or competition, and you don’t have to have a degree in economics to know that that means that consumers like you and me are going to get shafted, and shafted good. However, I do most of my shopping at the markets (at Coventry Square in Morely mostly, it’s awesome and I highly recommend checking it out, but anyhow, I digress) and could probably handle the corporate bumming if it were limited just to the mundane world of groceries, but oh no, Coles and Woolies have to go and fuck with the alcohol and pub scene now too, don’t they? In a diabolically fiendish move, perhaps knowing that their outrageous grocery prices would drive people to drink, both companies now also own most of the bottle shops and pubs in town, which has the double fisted impact of eliminating price competition and transforming previously great, unique bars into bland corporate examples of gentrified beigeness. I submit as evidence here the sad tale of the Hyde Park Hotel. Formerly a fantastic independent pub that was a staple of the local music scene with a awesomely seedy back bar, 20c pool tables, a toilet in which one could indulge in the odd “jazz cigarette” and a cheap bottle shop that was always open till midnight, the Hydey was bought by Woolworths and is now, like someone who gets married and whose spouse forces to quit their awesome punk rock band and get a “real job”, a shadow of its former self. The carpets are now clean, the bottle shop closes early and it’s all “nice”. Sad enough an example on its own I know, but this scene is being repeated a countless venues all across our fair city. Thankfully the small bar licenses have gone some way to rectifying the situation, but it still stinks if you ask me.
Woolworths: Now Selling Babies Into Slavery (Probably)
But, I hear you ask, what is the solution to all of this? It’s all very easy to sit back and criticise, to bitch and gripe about the state of the world, but much harder to get off your arse and change it. Well folks, I don’t have one, and short of making more people aware of it and encouraging them to boycott establishments owned by either company as often as you can, as I do, then there isn’t really much one humble blogger can hope to achieve. Besides, this is my blog, and if I want to piss and moan without offering any constructive ideas then I bloody well will. Also, it feels good to just get it off my chest really. So in short, moral of the story, folks, is that if someone with something to sell you keeps on telling you that it’s raining, take a good look at what’s running down your leg before you buy it.
I am glad you share my anger at Woolies and Coles! What annoys me the most are the stupid advertising campaigns about “local produce”. Really Coles and Woolies? Local produce? Lies! And the fact that you can no longer look for flour on the big signs for aisles- you look for “cake mix”. Wtf! Are you trying to make us so dependant on you that we all can’t even make a cake? A cake! Aarrrgh. Rant over – nice blog btw
Why thankyou, glad you’re enjoying it. As for Coles and Woolies, yeah it is all propaganda and lies, and yes, I’m pretty sure they do want us to be totally dependent on them for everything. They’ve already got a strangle hold on drinking and nightlife, what next? Cole’s TV? Woolies cinemas and sports teams?
Nice one! Believe it or not, the prices at Coles and Woolies were even higher 2 years ago…and apart from fucking with the alcohol and pub scene, there’s the petrol too…! Good to see someone with perspective on things in Perth! Great blog!
Thanks. I am having trouble conceiving of grocery prices being higher than than they already are, and don’t get me started on fuel! No I don’t have a fucking voucher for my 4 freaken cents off! Ah, how I long for an Aldi…
I freaking love Lidl and Carrefour – they should both make a push into West Aus and knock Coles and Woolies off their perches.
Amen to that sister! In the next census I’m putting my religion down as Aldi, man I worship that place.
I used to live in The Netherlands, and the situation was the same over there as in the UK, so coming back home to find NO Lidl for cheap stuff and only the nose bleed prices for products that aren’t great, was not a happy time. It’s still not, and upon finding out what Coles and Woolies are doing to the dairy industry as well, they can jam my business fair up their clacker. I am a Coventry Market girl too, or Subi, or Stirling. Whichever day suits me. I have found out that you do NOT have to shop at Coles or Woolies if you dont want to. I shake my fist at them, and fart in their general direction.
That’s it Jacqui, fight the power! Yeah, i was just tweeting someone the other day about the utterly criminal way in which those duopolistic buggers are raping our poor dairy farmers. I used to go to Subi a lot too, but Coventry Square is so much more convenient and has a lot more variety, but that being said as long as you’re not giving your money to Coles or Woolies then you go right on ahead and do whatever the hell you want. Also, for the record, I join you in a collective fist shake and fart in the general direction of the anti-competetive supermarket a-holes!
Brilliant article – we are giving up supermarkets for a year http://bit.ly/TGKUc5 ps – we are former Sainsbury shoppers
Nice work guys, I’ll be following your progress with interest. Also, re your Sainsburys shopping habits, it’s nice to know I have some respectable middle class readers.
Haha – you’ve made our day – where do market shoppers fit in the class system?
Ah, I guess market shoppers are kind of the Buddhist monks of the supermarket class system; removed from society living a life of antimaterialistic simplicity.
..you forgot about the Coles/Woolies petrol duopoly with their stupid discount tickets; Further competition elimination!
My God at last someone saying what i have been thinking and saying for years.To me Woolworths especially are not only the biggest exploiters of shoppers,but are also the biggest exploiters of their staff.Some years ago i had the miss fortune of working for these people,they take take and take,and your rewards are peanuts,in fact Aldi pay their staff more money than Woolworths.I think Woolworths could teach the Russian KGB a thing a too about brain washing,it seems to me their whole logic is based on subservience of the masses,if you openly criticize their polices God help you,for sure you will be excommunicated from the family.Most of the staff their are expected to do the work of at least 2 people.How many times to you have to wait for ages in the check out lines,because of their tight fistedness of having enough staff on to do the job,and for God sake dont ever become a manager their,say good by to any kind of penalty rates and expect to work 80 hours a week for less money than you would earn if you were a casual on the check outs. I hate these bastards,but again where else can you go,for sure they are going to take over ever ones life here,their into everything now.And the cost of shopping is just going to increase.Im waiting for them to take over the Gas and Electric,then they will truly own you.Anyway ive had my say for now,like you i could bitch for every about this subject,but i have to run and get some milk from Wollies
You just covered mostly what I think , especially the pubs part. They are destroying what culture we have by making every pub the same and as dull and lifeless as there retail managers…. Bah haha. Sad really ..,. What’s happened to the good old counter meal.